It was at a moment of humiliating defeat that a great man once said, "You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore." That great man was me, Dick Nixon. And in that moment, the fact that I would never again have to smile and clap while the media served up a steaming pile of bullshit at my expense was my sole comfort after my defeat in the 1962 California gubernatorial race. No one likes to lose and nobody like a loser, but the fact remains that after November 6th, either Barack Obama or Mitt Romney will feel like the biggest loser on the planet. There can, however, be nobility in defeat, and how a loser behaves in defeat can reveal more about his character than any victory, sometimes even elevating his stature above the cocksucker who beat him.
But the noblest loser of them all my have been my sworn enemy, Senator George McGovern. I despised the bastard, but even after getting spanked like a call girl at the Kennedy compound by Nixon in '72, there was something about that liberal pinko that refused to quit. In the waning days of that election, George was at an airport in Michigan where one of my supporters decided to heckle him. George went up to the man, leaned in close and said, "I've got a secret for you," before whispering in his ear, "Kiss my ass!"
So here's to the future losers of the 2012 election! May they all find honor in defeat, or at least someone they can kick around.
Richard M. Nixon is a regular SuperTuesdayNews contributor and the deceased 37th President of the United States.