by Richard M. Nixon
I was asked recently how I felt about the Republican Party's adulation of President Reagan. After all, Republicans across the country trip over themselves to claim a piece of the Reagan mantle, but they rarely, if ever, advocate a Nixonian style of governance. And that's fine. But it's also a lot of horseshit. It would be one thing if they actually wanted to be like Reagan - a sunny consensus builder with more makeup than Tammy Faye Bakker - but they don't. Today's Republican Party is comprised of mean, nasty bomb-throwers, who amplify the divisions in our society to win 50-percent-plus-one of the electorate. Forty years after I defeated my enemies by leaving the White House, the GOP has become the party of Nixon - whether they'd like to admit it or not.
For evidence, one need look no further than Newt Gingrich, a walking, roly-poly ball of bitterness and resentment with the uncanny ability to stoke the deep-seeded rage of the Moral Majority - In other words, a Nixon Republican. Newt takes the fight right to the media in interviews and debates, all while charging hard against a pretty boy opponent with deep pockets and a silver spoon up his ass. But rather than embrace Nixon as his ideological forefather, Newt persists in tying himself to Reagan. It is a grave mistake for him to make in this competitive campaign.
by Richard M. Nixon
I was surprised to read that President Obama socked it to me the other day when he proposed streamlining NOAA, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, which I helped create. According to Mr. Obama, Nixon only placed NOAA under the jurisdiction of the Commerce Department to spite my Secretary of the Interior, even though that department would have been a better fit for that agency. And may I say just how deeply, deeply disappointed I am that President Obama would find anything wrong with that. He must remember that the single greatest motivator for any man who sits in the Oval Office is the emotion of spite.
Yes, I admit I placed NOAA under the jurisdiction of the Commerce Department. My Interior Secretary at the time was the Honorable Walter J. Hickel, the former Republican governor of Alaska, who took it upon himself to openly criticize my handling of the Vietnam War and the filthy protesters of that great American endeavor. He thought he would try to sway mean, old President Nixon with a letter expressing his concern. So you know what I did? I shit-canned the bastard! Was it spiteful? You bet your ass it was spiteful. But Dick Nixon never got anything he wanted in life without spite. When I first met my future wife Buddy, she was with another man. I wooed Buddy with my trademark Nixon charm just to spite the doofus she was with. If I weren't such a spiteful son-of-a-bitch, I never would've had that shrill ice queen around to second-guess my every decision as president.