TRENTON, NJ - Emergency crews worked around the clock in New Jersey's capital Monday night and into Tuesday to free upwards of thirty people who became trapped underneath Gov. Chris Christie after he was knocked over by a powerful gust of wind during Hurricane Sandy. Though nearly a dozen of those trapped have been freed and are being treated for crush wounds, many more remain smothered underneath the Rubenesque Republican governor at this hour.
"We are currently working as fast as we can to rescue the people still trapped under Governor Christie before their air runs out down there," assured Capt. Bill Calhoun of the Trenton Fire Department. "Right now we're doing what we can to pull each individual out from under the governor, as any attempt to lift him up off the ground has failed."
Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)
TRENTON, NJ - Despite his repeated insistence that he will not be a candidate for president in 2012, supporters of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie successfully got the portly Garden State governor to visit Iowa on Thursday by planting a trail of pizza slices stretching from the front steps of the New Jersey governor's mansion to the offices of the Iowa Republican Party in Des Moines. Christie covered the 995-mile-long distance on foot over the course of two weeks, consuming approximately 583,000 slices of pizza along the way, forgoing sleep or rest.
After emerging from the Iowa GOP headquarters, Christie once again insisted he has no plans to run for president to the local reporters who'd gathered upon learning of Christie's arrival. "I was fooled, duped into coming here," said Christie, his mouth stained red with marinara sauce, his comments interrupted by small burps. "I have some very loyal supporters who know me well, and they were very smart in getting me here, but my answer is still no." Asked what he did during the 80-plus minutes he was inside the GOP headquarters, Christie replied, "I drank a Coke on the john and probably made some janitor's day pretty miserable."
Christie's pizza walk is being scrutinized to determine if the governor broke any world records over the course of his journey. Meanwhile, his supporters insist they will continue to try to change Christie's mind. Plans are already in place to boil a giant pot of chili in New Hampshire and fan the scent southward toward New Jersey.