CONCORD, NH - Upset with his son Matt's performance on the campaign trail, presidential candidate Mitt Romney fired him from his position as a surrogate Sunday and has already hired Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow to fill his position. Tebow, a devout Christian and the breakout star of the 2011-12 NFL season, made his debut as a Romney surrogate in Concord on Sunday, where Romney introduced him as, "my son, Tim Tebow."
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you all to meet my son, Tim Tebow of the NFL," gushed Romney, introducing Tebow before an enthusiastic crowd at the Concord Community Center. "He's an athlete, a Christian, and my understanding is he's very popular right now."
Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)
TRENTON, NJ - Despite his repeated insistence that he will not be a candidate for president in 2012, supporters of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie successfully got the portly Garden State governor to visit Iowa on Thursday by planting a trail of pizza slices stretching from the front steps of the New Jersey governor's mansion to the offices of the Iowa Republican Party in Des Moines. Christie covered the 995-mile-long distance on foot over the course of two weeks, consuming approximately 583,000 slices of pizza along the way, forgoing sleep or rest.
After emerging from the Iowa GOP headquarters, Christie once again insisted he has no plans to run for president to the local reporters who'd gathered upon learning of Christie's arrival. "I was fooled, duped into coming here," said Christie, his mouth stained red with marinara sauce, his comments interrupted by small burps. "I have some very loyal supporters who know me well, and they were very smart in getting me here, but my answer is still no." Asked what he did during the 80-plus minutes he was inside the GOP headquarters, Christie replied, "I drank a Coke on the john and probably made some janitor's day pretty miserable."
Christie's pizza walk is being scrutinized to determine if the governor broke any world records over the course of his journey. Meanwhile, his supporters insist they will continue to try to change Christie's mind. Plans are already in place to boil a giant pot of chili in New Hampshire and fan the scent southward toward New Jersey.
NASHUA, NH - As Republicans nationwide continue to signal an openess for another candidate to enter the primaries, state party leaders have taken notice. On Monday, the New Hampshire Republican Party sent an email to supporters, encouraging them to consider a new name for the 2012 race: breakfast cereal icon and retired naval officer Captain "Cap'n" Crunch.
"While voters have a dynamic field of Republican candidates to choose from, Cap'n Crunch has delighted children and adults for decades and has better name recognition and likeability than any of the candidates currently running,” read the email, in part. “And lest we forget, Cap'n Crunch is an old white guy in a military uniform, which is a plus in any Republican primary."
Iowans participating in the 2008 caucuses.
DES MOINES, IA - In an effort to preserve their status as the first-in-the-nation nominating contest, leaders of both the Iowa Republican and Democratic parties announced on Thursday that the Iowa caucuses are to take place next Monday, 378 days ahead of schedule. "In 2008, we held our caucuses earlier than ever before, and we were instrumental in sending Barack Obama to the White House," said Iowa Democratic Party Chairperson Sue Dvorsky. "That's power, and we ain't gonna give it up for nothing."