TAMPA BAY, FL - Taking a page from his rival Newt Gingrich's playbook, Republican presidential candidate Gluey Bush scored major political points attacking the media during Monday's debate by sinking his gnarled teeth into moderator Brian Williams' throat.  Gluey, the genetically mutated third cousin of former President George W. Bush, is prone to acts of physical violence on the campaign trial, but his attack on a high-profile member of the mainstream media immediately endeared him to the Republican base, giving his sagging campaign a much-needed burst of momentum.
     15 minutes into the NBC News debate, Williams asked Gluey (who wore a Bob the Builder costume to the debate) if he thought independent voters would seriously consider voting for a violent genetic aberration with the mind of a child.  With the help of his electronic translator, Gluey hissed, "Eat now," before lunging at Williams and biting his throat.  The GOP faithful in the audience rose to their feet to give Gluey a standing ovation, then booed as he was forcibly sedated and re-shackled to his podium.